Bike Nerdery

Preston to Harmony

On the Root River trail map there are two sections of the trail that are marked “Relatively steep hills”.

Relative to what? It does not say.

Regardless, we rode both of those relatively hilly sections. One is between Preston and Harmony, and it is indeed pretty hilly. A few of the hills are steep, but what wore me out was the rolling terrain. Up, down, low gear, high gear, fast, slow. This site says the hills reach an 8% grade, but I don’t remember anything that steep.

But over the 12-mile ride, your elevation doesn’t change all that much. About 400 feet. It feels like more.

But even with the hills the ride is beautiful. You start along side the river, then you climb along the bluffs until you reach the town of Harmony – home to the county’s only movie theater. And if you want to ride 5 miles farther, you’ll be in Iowa. We didn’t do that.

We did have breakfast at the Harmony House Cafe, which was about what you’d expect. Only with more oil in the hashbrowns.

Riding back was awesome. Those steep hills were now almost entirely in our favor. We got pretty close to 30mph.

Preston to Fountain

From Preston it’s about 5 miles to the intersection with the Root River Trail proper. Once on the trail, it’s a little over 6 miles to the trail’s western terminus in Fountain. This last 6 miles is all uphill. Sometimes it’s a shallow grade, sometimes it’s a steeper grade. It’s never really steep, but it’s always uphill.

Again, the elevation change is not great, roughly 400 feet over 6 miles. That’s an average of 1.3%, which sounds pretty pathetic now that I’ve done the math. There’s some advice for you, never do the math.

After the rolling terrain between Preston and Harmony this non-stop climb was pretty hard on me. We took a lot of breaks. I think if I rode this stretch fresh, it wouldn’t seem so bad.

In Fountain we ate at Los Gables, which is as ridiculous and great as we’d hoped. The torta in particular was quite tasty.

Houston to Peterson

Houston is the eastern trailhead of the Root River trail. It’s home to the second “relatively steep hill,” this one so notorious that you can even get a t-shirt that says “I climbed the hill!” It needs a better nickname, but since it’s pretty much the only hill on the trail, I guess The Hill will do.

And, indeed, climbing The Hill was the only time all weekend that I used my smallest chainring. Getting exact elevations on The Hill is tricky – maybe about 100 feet of climbing in about 2000 feet of riding? A grade between 4 and 5 percent, let’s say. Enough to make you take notice, but not long enough to do any serious damage. And riding down the opposite side is awesome.

When we climbed The Hill on our way home, it seemed significantly less tough than we remembered. Hills, like fish, grow in the telling.

The rest of this route varies between pretty and ugly. Riding close to the river is fantastic and beautiful. Riding next to the highway, as you do between Rushford and Peterson is dull and unattractive.

The day we rode it was incredibly windy, when we left the cover of the trees and had to ride on open terrain, it was terrible. So don’t ride on a day with 30mph wind gusts, that’s my advice. Unless that’s the only day you can ride, then you should.

In Rushford we ate at The Creamery which is a great place to stop for sweet treats and an ok place to stop for lunch.

In Houston we got breakfast at Cross Roads Cafe, which was tasty (and not oily), but not speedy. I’d normally take tasty over speedy, but the non-speediness of Cross Roads was a bit excessive.

After our ride we stopped at Barista for hot drinks. This place seemed awesome, and neither of our drinks were poisoned, so it gets two thumbs up!

In July I started a semi-regular lunch ride that I imaginatively called the “Ten-Mile Lunch”. I’ll give you one guess how long the ride is.

Starting at my house, I hop on the Greenway in Brackett Park. I ride the Greenway west to Hennepin Ave, stop for a brief rest and then ride home. The goal is to do the ride as quickly as possible, thus it is the only ride where I track my time.

In July, my rides were around 45 minutes. So far, August’s rides have been around 44:30. Today my time was 42:04, so I guess I’m doing something right.

In June I settled on a entertaining way to plan my longer rides — I would pick a compass direction and head out, no firm route or destination in mind.

In June, I went west (St. Bonifacus), north (Coon Rapids) and east (Maplewood). I was all ready for my ride south, but then other things got in the way. After three weeks without a long ride, I finally got my chance to head south last weekend.

After heading across the highway 55 bridge, I worked my way farther south along Pilot Knob Road (a name that always elicits a chuckle) and Johnny Cake Ridge Road (another odd one) until I ended up at the Minnesota Zoo. Other than a brief visit almost ten years ago, I’d never seen the zoo, so I decided to park the bike and spend the day checking out the animals. A couple of interested friends who have a zoo membership drove down and joined me.

3ish hours later, we’d seen almost everything the zoo had to offer and it was time to head home; the ride back was mostly downhill, with a few small climbs thrown in, just to keep me working. Pleasant enough, even if the southern suburbs aren’t exactly scenic.

Perhaps it was due to my not riding much for almost a month, but this 33 mile ride was pretty exhausting. Eagan and Apple Valley have some hills, but nothing major. So I can’t blame it on the terrain.

I guess I just have to ride more. Next destination: West!

Last weekend my friend D and I completed the 20^th annual Tour Of Lakes, a ride organized by the Paul Bunyan Cyclists, a cycling club based in the Brainerd area.

I’d never participated in a ride like this before, and I’d never been to Brainerd, so I had no idea what to expect. Would it be hilly or flat? Would the riders be genial or would they be a bunch of speed-obsessed racers? Even the route was a mystery — I’d emailed the organizers about it only to be told that I’d find out on the day of the ride.

Heading into the weekend the only things I knew were that I could complete a 65-mile ride, and that I could do so in the time allotted to us by the ride organizers, who strongly suggested that everyone finish their ride by 3pm.

And both of those assumptions were nearly proved wrong.

We got into Brainerd the night before the ride and set out to see the town and find some dinner. First, it turns out we weren’t even in Brainerd, but neighboring Baxter. Second, it is currently impossible to reach Brainerd’s downtown, as the entire road has been removed for reconstruction.

We spotted a non-desrcript cafe with a few promising neon beer signs — Rogue Brewery and Fat Tire. Surely this place had to be good.

We’d stumbled across what must be the most hippie/hipster restaurant in Brainerd, the E Squared Cafe. Perfect! We tanked up on beer and vegetarian entrees, eavesdropping on the bizarre discussions of local politics taking place one table over.

The next morning we tried to hit the road as early as possible. In order to finish by the 3pm deadline, I wanted us to start the ride by 7am. That would give us 8 hours — allowing us a leisurely pace of under 10 mph.

After registration and preparation, we got on the road closer to 7:30. Still plenty of time. And when we reached the first rest stop, after about 10 miles, we were way ahead of schedule. The ride had been flat, fast and relaxing. We were holding a comfortable pace of 15 mph. Hell, at this rate we’d be done by noon!

Here we're at the midpoint of the long loop.

The Paul Bunyan Cyclists had promised good food at the rest stops, and they certainly delivered. Our first stop featured breakfast burritos, a huge array of fruits and boxes of pastries. We lingered just long enough to sample the variety then headed back out.

This is when we found out that the first 10 miles were a ruse. The route would not be all flat and relaxing. It would be hilly and challenging. On a beautiful, narrow road we began to encounter the rolling hills that we’d be riding most of the rest of the day. I called these the “Roller Coaster” hills, because I could frequently get enough momentum on the descent to allow me to coast up to the top of the next hill. Hooray for all my extra mass!

On this road we were passed by a small group of folks, one of whom gave me some polite ribbing about all the bags on my bike. In addition to my normal saddle bag and handlebar bag I was also carrying a single Ortlieb pannier as a backup, should the predicted rain come pouring down.

I said something about wanting to carry everything I needed, to which the guy responded that I was “a Boy Scout.” Then one of the other riders said “He’s like a dinosaur!” A dinosaur? I’m still not sure if that was meant as a compliment or not. Whatever.

We rolled onwards and the hills got bigger. No more coasting to the top. When the long route split off from the shorter 35-mile route the hills increased in size. Our second rest stop was at Kelly’s bar, where the volunteers were serving up sloppy joes and veggie chili. These did not appeal to me or D, so after a short break we prepared to head out.

Before we left a pair of women complimented our bikes. One of them was particularly in love with every aspect of our rides. The bags, the leather saddles, the fenders, etc. Yet her bike (an aluminum Trek road bike) lacked everything she loved about our bikes. It was odd. Like a kid that really likes reading but who spends all his time playing Xbox so as to fit in with his friends. Or maybe she just couldn’t afford another bike. I dunno.

Ridge Road

The northern loop of the long route was beautiful. We got off the county highway and rode on lakeside residential roads. For a while we were so secluded that I was sure we’d taken a wrong turn. A brief patch of loose gravel road reinforced the seclusion. Coming back from the northern tip of the ride the road straightened and flattened out, allowing me to cruise along at a quick 22 mph pace, exploring gears that I didn’t even know my bike had.

When we got back to Kelly’s the hills had taken their toll on us and we stopped for lunch. The chili still didn’t look good, so we went in the bar and rested with a beer and greasy bar food.

By this point we were about five hours into the ride and about two-thirds of the way through the route. A mere 20 miles to go, with three hours until the ride deadline. Simple, I thought.

But those hills, those damn hills. More and more frequently I found myself in my smallest gear, climbing a hill at 5 or 6 mph. And each big climb was followed by a water break. We worked our way to the third rest stop which promised pasta.

It was at the third stop that I noticed our time was getting short. We’d have to hold a good pace to make it to the end by 3. Just to add to the difficulty, the route was about 4 miles longer than advertised. 69 miles, not 65. We didn’t linger over our pasta.

About the only things I remember from this last stretch are grinding through a tough headwind and the arrival of the promised rain. I also remember how fabulous it was to turn out of the headwind and realize that we had a smooth, hill-less 3 miles between us and the finish.

With the rain strengthening, we crossed the finish line at 2:59. 1 minute ahead of the goal! Huddling under a tent we ate our celebratory root beer floats in our official Tour Of Lakes mugs and got our bikes ready for the drive home. In all the rush to get somewhere dry, we left our mugs behind. Oh well.

At 69.33 miles, the ride was slightly shorter than my ride around Lake Minnetonka. But it was so much more difficult. D called it a “Hilly Century”, as if 70 hilly miles is equivalent to 100 miles on flat ground. It’s an exaggeration, but there’s no doubt that I felt like I’d rode much farther than 70 miles.

Without the 3pm deadline, we could have spent some more time relaxing and recuperating at the rest stops. But, all in all, I’m glad we had the deadline to shoot for. It forced us to push ourselves a bit harder than we would have, turning our ride from a leisurely jaunt to a goal accomplished — complete with all the attendant pride and satisfaction.

After the success of last week’s ride, I set to planning a ride for the following weekend. I wanted to head west, to offset the easterly trip to Stillwater. And I remembered that there is a tasty custard shop out in Excelsior. Add in a loop around Lake Minnetonka and I had myself quite a trip! Somewhere between 50 and 60 miles, by my reckoning.

Thanks to some missed turns and some side-adventures, I ended up close to 70

Now, according to my new bike computer (replacing the one that broke right before we rode to Stillwater), I rode exactly 69.69 miles. Not making that up. I didn’t even spin the wheel a few extra times just to make sure I got the funny mileage.

Home to Excelsior

Sadly, my two biking companions were unable to join me on this ride, so I headed out solo. Getting to Excelsior was mostly uneventful. After I reached Hopkins, I turned onto the Northern LRT route, which I had never ridden before. Crossing Hopkins on the LRT kind of sucks, as you’re crossing about a thousand little roads.

But once I was out of Hopkins, it was an easy ride into Excelsior on the LRT’s crushed-gravel surface. I’d misread my map and thought Excelsior was five miles farther away that it actually was, so I was quite surprised to roll into town so fast.

The residents of Excelsior were turned out for their Memorial Day parade, and a small crowd of expectant parade watchers had formed outside Adele’s. What could be better than a parade and fresh custard? Nothing. So I picked up a cone of Caramel Cashew and waited for the parade to reach us.

And waited. And waited.

Excelsior is not a big town, so where the hell was this parade? I grew impatient and rode across town to where the parade route started. Perfect! I arrived just in time to see the middle school marching band and the ancient car full of Cub Scouts. With my need for small town parades satiated, I headed off.

Victoria to St. Bonifacious to Luce Line

Somewhere past Excelsior I noticed that my bike was making a louder noise than normal. After some quick troubleshooting, I decided that my bottom bracket was dying. The bottom bracket is pretty important — it’s the axle around which your pedals turn, allowing you to get anywhere.

With no way to replace the bottom bracket, I decided to press onwards. I figured that at the very worst the axle would seize and I’d have to call for a ride. And it was just as likely to seize if I turned around as if I continued on my route.

In Victoria I stopped for lunch at the thankfully-open Floyd’s bar. I guess I didn’t realize that nearly every business would be closed on Memorial Day. I’m too used to my heathen city life, I guess.

After a beer and a burger, I headed onwards. My trail riding done for a while, I took the road north-west through the Carver Nature Preserve. From there I rode a county highway west into St. Bonifacious (shortened to “St. Boni” on every sign within the town)

What I should have done in St. Boni is hop on the Dakota trail and bike north east. What I ended up doing was riding Main Street north out of town. I didn’t do this entirely by accident. First, I’d neglected to print the part of the map that showed where I was supposed to turn onto the Dakota trail. Second, I’d noticed on the bike trail maps near Excelsior that taking Main Street would get me to the Luce Line trail, which was my goal.

So north I went, across rolling hills and past many small farms. After climbing yet another rolling hill, I began to wonder exactly how far I had to go to reach the Luce Line, so I called home and had my wife check out the map, just to make sure I hadn’t led myself on a snipe hunt.

Thankfully I was on the right track and eventually found the Luce Line trail that I would ride Eastwards, towards home.

Luce Line, Wayzata, Golden Valley

Not long after reaching the Luce Line, I ran out of water. I’d already intended to stop in Wayzata, but now the stop was even more important. I had no desire to ride another 20+ miles without something to drink.

As I got closer to Wayzata, construction warning signs appeared on the trail “Trail closed at Wayzata Blvd. 2.3 miles”. These didn’t bother me; Wayzata Boulevard was my goal, and I figured the trail would offer a detour if needed.

Nope, no detour. Just a blockade and an unfinished bridge. Pretty much equivalent to saying, “Hah hah! What are you going to do now, asshole?” I picked my way down a hill, through brush crushed by construction equipment, and finished riding into Wayzata.

So many tasty food options in Wayzata — Ben & Jerry’s, another Adele’s custard shop, Damico & Sons, etc. I bypassed them all and went straight to the gas station, where I stocked up on water and bottle of fake-grape flavored Powerade Zero. Seriously, who wants water that tastes like grape bubble gum? The label made no mention of the terrible flavor contained within. Regardless, the bottle was full of electrolytes or whatever (it’s what plants need!), so I drank the whole thing.

Out of Wayzata and back on the Luce Line, the ride eastward was uneventful. I perked up after the water stop, but I was obviously starting to wear out. Still, I felt better than I did during the ride back from Stillwater, so I guess all this riding must be doing me some good.

There are at least three mostly-connected trails called Luce Line. I was on the state trail (I think), which ends just a few miles east of Wayzata. From there I was on the Three Rivers Parks part of the trail, which is paved (hooray!). But once you reach Golden Valley, the trail simply ends at the intersection of Highway 55 and Douglas. If you look really hard you can find a sign that shows you all the awesome trails that will be built, someday, but offers no input on where you should go now that the trail you were riding has ended.

I backtracked a bit, following a map I had from some other bikers who’d done this route, and got onto a road that took me to Theodore Wirth, from which it would be an easy ride home.

If I wanted to ride all the way home, that is. And I decided that I did not. I was already about 10 miles over my planed route for the day, and the wind was going to be all in my face for the remaining 6 miles. So I arranged a ride, grabbed some pizza from Punch and called it a day.

Even though I bailed out on the last 6 miles, I still rode 24 miles farther than last weekend, and 20 miles farther than my longest ride ever. More importantly, I learned two facts:

1. I can ride the 65 miles of the Paul Bunyan Tour of Lakes, which is in two weeks. And..
2. I can finish the aforementioned Tour before they close the route and the sag wagon clears the streets.

After last week’s ride to Stillwater, I had strong doubts about my ability to do either of those things. But now I’m confident that I’m ready for the Tour.

• Photos
• Route
• Total Miles: 69.69